Ups and Downs

The U.S. attained the #1 spot in the number of reported corona virus infections. We’ve jumped ahead of China and Italy. We’re up to more than 82,000 infections as of last night.

As everyone knows, the stock market has been mostly down. I have some retirement accounts that I haven’t given much attention because I don’t want to see the downward slide. I just have a bit in stocks, but still, who wants to see even a modest dip?

Louisiana now has over 2,700 infections, mostly in the New Orleans which is just a hop and skip from where I live. Again, another statistic I would prefer to be down, not up. New Orleans is in the higher category of infections nationwide.

Personally, I am doing well. My general mood has been up, not down. Aside from a slight obsession with paper towels, which are in chronic short supply in the stores, I am doing fine. I don’t feel the same obsession with the other paper product, toilet paper, which seems to occupy the minds of many Americans. There’s enough toilet paper in my cupboards to last a month or two.

In fact, during this present crisis, I have been mostly upbeat. Facts have not been my enemy, although perhaps, I am just a little over informed. However, I haven’t had a turn downward toward fear or panic.

My state of mind hasn’t always been upbeat. In fact I have experienced a lifetime of ups and downs, highs and lows, upper swings and lowest lows. My doctor calls the condition bipolar disorder. I often don’t see myself as bipolar, but I have to admit, something in my wiring is not quite right. I think, though, my case is somewhat mild.

My highs are rare, but not very much out of the ordinary. Just fleeting times of rapid thoughts and speech. When under pressure, sometimes my thoughts are illogical, even a tad grandiose.

More frequently are the black dog days. I have weeks and months when everything seems dull and moribund. Sometimes, I feel like death would be preferable to living. My lows can be quite low.

So there. The cat is out of the bag. Since my diagnosis 30 years ago, I have been rather private about my condition. It didn’t seem to warrant much discussion. I accepted it. I have lived my life as well as I could.

Now, the news is out for anyone who care to read and comment. I’m not publishing this post on Facebook, where I have a different set of friends than here on the blog platform. I’ll pause a bit before writing that post.

10 thoughts on “Ups and Downs

    1. You are not second-class friends. It’s just a different, smaller subset read my blog posts. I actually think the readers here are safer than Facebook friends. I wish you a happy weekend, sir.

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  1. You should try magic mushrooms for that depression. They are not 100%, everybody kind of thing, but they do cure a significant percentage of depressives. I’ve read that in as many as ten percent, it is a permanent treatment. one dose and done for good. From ingestion to back to normal is 5-6 hours And ya know, they grow wild in your area…

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    1. I don’t consider my struggle with depression to be significant enough to change my current medication. I think my personality tends to be a bit melancholy that’s all. Have you tried mushrooms?

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      1. Old Norm is giving you good advice, but I know it’s not something you would do in a million years. If, for some reason, I am wrong, be aware that it’s not something you should do without trained assistance. I used a psychologist. Best thing I ever did for myself.

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      2. You’re right. I don’t plan on trying hallucinogens. I have felt depressed but never have been suicidal. Only rarely has depression caused significant problems in my functioning.

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      3. I came of age in the early 70s, mushrooms were pretty common. yes I’ve eaten mushrooms many times. They are something like too much drink, you do not want to drive or operate machinery . I’ve never known anyone to go around the bend and not come back. LSD on the other hand has ruined people that I’ve met. The head crackers are doing studies on both drugs, the mushrooms have shown much more utility in treating mental ailments. From what I’ve read in recent years, the legal pharmacology used on depression will include mushrooms within ten years. I know of no other psychoactive drug that cures even one percent of its depressive users with one dose. Mushrooms would seem to cure permanently as many as ten percent with one dose. We’ll see how it goes after they run the trials.

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  2. Hy hat off to you for the courage to talk about your ups and downs. My partner and I both have had lifetime struggles with the Black Dog, Stew more than I. While I don’t think depression can be completely cured, it can be controlled with medication. We’ve been on Cymbalta for years and happy to report we’re OK most of the time. Your instinct is good too, about reading too much news and current events, particularly nowadays when the news is mostly disturbing if not downright depressing. Not the stuff any of us needs. Probably not a good idea right now, but the present storm begins to blow over, consider going on “news fasts”, during which you disconnect for the daily hubbub of news.
    Good luck, and congratulations for our openness.

    al

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